A+B=C or possibly K

How did I get to be right here right now? Partly through choices obviously, but what influenced those choices, what wet hands of fate and coincidence shaped me as I was turning on their wheel, and why is this of any importance?

On most days, luckily, there is no time, need or inclination to consider these fundamental questions, but I have, because our whole system here has decided to have a well earned rest and there’s not much I can do other than stare at my reflection in a blank screen or whip out my dongle and do this. We may all like to think that we’ve become who we are by our own volition, and that’s great, or not, if you have, but I can’t so arbitrarily ignore the mass of influences we‘re subjected to every day.

Perhaps I’m overcomplicating what should be as straightforward as A+B=C, but what made B become B? And then, when interacting with A, how much did this impact on A and did it result in C being skewed, possibly due to D influencing B. But C, the outcome, must of itself always be C whatever, it’s only that it could have deviated had B not been influenced by D. It takes at least two to cause an effect of any interest, but behind each of those people there must be hundreds more that have mildly, or dramatically touched them in some way to make them partly who they are, and it must be who B is, that made them react with A in the manner that caused C to be the result. I have stupidly overlooked the fact that B may also only react to A in a way that B may not react to K, because A is undoubtedly swayed in some way, greatly or not, by their own D, which may only be of any importance to B. Whereas the L that K is biased towards may hold no such importance or relevance to B.

In real life, as opposed to here, I suppose there is a set of parameters that are partly self-set and partly imposed by convention that tuck us up snugly and kiss us on the forehead. If you or I, stretch, break or simply ignore our limits tomorrow and say to, or do something with B, then this could, I suppose, change how, in years from now, Z deals with Y, and that, if the resulting C was unfavourable, it would be partly my, or your fault. Just as I would like to lay the blame for some of my unforced errors on something M said or did to P in the distant past.

This is a bigger question than I thought it was, it’s huge. There may not even be enough letters to do it justice.

If there is one person who stumbles blindly around and finds themselves accidentally here, they may just be asking themselves, as I do when the retrospective need arises , "why did I do that?" If they do, this won’t help at all but at least they might feel it wasn‘t entirely their fault, because they can now blame D, as it was D all along.